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+Watch
+Fav | +Friend |
Member Since: Dec/02/2007
Page Views: 3,292
Page Hits: 4,685
Style Points: Infinite
Votes: 139
Tutorials: 5 |
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I can lick my own ellbow...seriously! |
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What's the difference between Britney Spears and a PershingII-nuclear missile?
One is a horrible threat for mankind...the other is a medium-range weapon system.
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Real-life conversation:
"So, do you like Yaoi?"
-"Yaoi...what?"
"You know...when some guy is...err...with another guy...you know..."
-"Ah...I see...no, I'm not interested in gay-porn."
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Featured Image: Art-Trade: Tropical Beach |
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Newest Image: Art-Trade: Kleine Fee Marina |
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Ditch's favorite artists: |
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| | Soft colours, memorable characters and lovely emotions combined make a perfect mixture. Watch her, I forsee a great and bright future for her! |
| | I may not like fantasy or magic much...but DANG! His (or her?) art really kicks ass! Beside, all people who call "Dune" to be their most favorite movie have a special place in my heart... |
| | She puts more emotions in her pic's then most people in their entire galleries. Incredible what she can achieve only with the look of the eyes.
And she prefers Jedis over Siths! |
| | Go to his page...look at his pictues...and don't forget to breath! His pictures are so gorgeous that you might forget it! |
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Ditch's favorite websites: |
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The day I got nailed... |
Posted: May/12/2008, 2:32am
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Let me tell you a story...a story that truly happened as I'm about to tell you. It's about a man...another man...and the sweet tenderness among them.
Be assured, this story happend to me. It's 100% true.
When I was 18, my family and I moved into another house. I got the basement for me alone. However, I had to clean it up first and make some...repairs. Thank God I hade the complete useless help of my good friend Erik. He basically just waisted oxygen...One thing was to cover a nasty stain on a wall. However, the wall was so smooth that I couldn't just put a wallpaper on it. So I decided to put some wooden panels on it.
With a nailgun...
You can already guess where it's going.
Well, I was working on the panels when Erik was watching over my shoulder. He then spotted the nailgun next to me. The conversation was like this:
He: "Uh! What's that?"
Me: "It's a nailgun. Please don't break it like you break anything else...and be careful where you point that thing!"
He (picking it up): "Don't be such a wuzz...I'm not incompetent, you know..."
"PFLUM!"
It was so fast that I didn't felt any pain at first. I just glared at him...my facial expression was like "I hate you and I so knew this was gonna happen..." I then looked down only to see a 6 centimeter long nail...in my right foot.
That's where the screaming part started.
Me: "You asshole shot me!"
He: "Hey, who do you call an asshole? Besides, it was not intentional!"
Me: "Oh, that would have been the cherry on top if you had done it intentionally! Do something!"
The nail didn't hurt at all...maybe it was the shock, I don't know. I just ordered Erik to get something to help me. I was thinking about a first aid-kit. So he got up and walked slowly (!) away while I tried to get my foot free which was stuck.
When Erik got back, he had no first-aid-kit in his hands but a pliers.
Me: "Are you kidding me? Do you just want to pull that thing out?"
He: "Well, do you have any better idea?"
Unfortunatly...I had not. So he took my foot and started to pull.
That was the moment when the blood came.
I swear, it was like a fountain! I didn't know that the aorta goes right into your right foot! Anyway, this is where the trouble really started...you see, Erik can't see blood. Not even in movies. Hell, he's even scared of red watercolour.
And the swall of blood hit him in the face. He turned completly white within seconds (which was actually quite cool...) and looked like I should have looked.
Of course THAT was the moment the pain started. The nail was still in my foot, he had only pulled him some millimeter out.
Me: "Erik, I think I need a doctor!"
He: "..."
Me: "The hospital is nearby...let's get me there."
He: "..."
Me: "Man, that is some wicked bleeding! Right, Erik?"
He: "..."
Me: "Erik?"
He: "..."
Me: "...great...just great..."
So I got my ass up and hobbled upside while I left a trail of blood behind me. I got some bandages from the first-aid-kit and put them on my foot. I then wanted Erik to drive me to the hospital. I called out for him but he didn't respond. So I went down into the basement only to see that this...Pussy had passed out. His face was lying in MY blood.
I should have let him lie there...
Instead I dragged him upstairs (which was really painfull), into the car and drove myself...with a pierced foot.
I know it's not clever and I have no idea why I didn't just call an ambulance...must have been the blood lost.
Anyway, on the way to the hospital Erik woke up, only to see himself covered in blood. It' was like having the tazmanian devil next to you! He totally flipped and passed out again...
When we arrived at the hospital, I parked in front of the main entrance. I shouted for help. Some people came and saw Erik...covered in blood and unconscious...so they dragged them right away into the emergency room.
I stayed behind in the car. So I parked it and hobbled to the entrance myself.
The doctor later looked at my foot, asked the janitor for a big pliers, used some ice-spray and pulled the thing out of my foot.
He then sent me home.
Erik had to stay 1 more week for observation. They discovered that he had not enough red blood cells and needed blood infusions.
Serves him right... |
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Fuck! This song is stuck in my head!!! |
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